


Words Finally Spoken

by merentha13



Category: The Professionals
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-15
Updated: 2012-01-15
Packaged: 2017-10-29 14:58:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/321116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merentha13/pseuds/merentha13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A close call loosens Ray's lips.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Words Finally Spoken

Ray looked totally worn out.

The silver strands mixed in with the auburn curls surrounding his face emphasized his fatigue. The despair in his eyes was visible to everyone. He seemed oblivious to the myriad of cuts on his face and hands slowly oozing blood. They watched him pace aimlessly around the room. He didn’t seem to be able to settle. Murphy rose from his chair and poured a cup of tea. He handed it to the restless agent. Ray’s hands shook as he took the beaker.

“Ta Mate,” his voice was rough and unsteady.

“Sit down, Ray. You need to take it easy, rest a bit. They’ve got a bed ready next door if you want…”

“Couldn’t sleep, Murph. Not without knowin’….”

“We’re all here, Ray. If there’s any news we’ll wake you.” Murphy sighed as Ray shook his head. “How long’s it been since you slept, Ray?” he asked.

Ray shrugged his shoulders. “Couldn’t tell ya. Not since this all started. Maybe a few days before that, what with the stake out and all. I’ve tried to sleep, Murph. But I can’t. Keep seeing it all go down again. Keep watchin’ as Bodie…” He cleared his throat, then looked up at Murphy, green eyes too bright. “What am I gonna do, Murph? What if he doesn’t make it back?”

Murphy put his arm around the shattering man and pulled him into a reassuring hug. “He’s tough, our Bodie. Don’t be writin’ him off just yet.” Murphy squeezed Ray’s shoulder then let him go.

Doyle just nodded, turning his back to the room. He quickly wiped his eyes. “Bloody fool! Bodie’d have a real laugh if he saw me cryin’ over him, wouldn’t he?” he asked the room without looking at anyone.

Susan walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She whispered softly into his ear “You go ahead and cry if you need to, Ray. No one here will think anything of it. We all know what he means to you.” She felt him start to shake.

“I never told him, Suze.” His voice broke and his back tensed. “I never told him what he means to me. Was embarrassed to say the words….”

“He knows, Ray. He knows.” She held him tighter. “Come sit down. Finish your tea. Will you eat something? Let me clean you up a bit?” She released him and steered him toward the couch. “Sit.” He did.

Since he hadn’t protested that order, she tried for a little bit more. “Put you head back, close your eyes and try to rest. We’ll keep watch.” She gently cleaned some of the blood from his face and hands with a damp cloth. Exhaustion finally won and he fell into a restless doze.

Visions of the last twenty four hours played like a movie on the inside of his eyelids. He’d been so tired he’d fallen asleep in the passenger seat of the Capri leaving Bodie to watch the house by himself. He had been inside that house, undercover, for three days. An ill timed visit by a former grass from his drug squad days had blown that cover wide open. He’d been lucky to escape with just the beating. A quick trip to the A&E, several stitches, a few pain killers and orders from Cowley had him back at the house on the obbo with Bodie. His partner had greeted him with his usual offbeat sense of humor.

“Oi, Doyle. Those blokes inside finally wised up and tossed ya out? Couldn’t take any more of those vegetarian lasagnas?” Bodie reached up and ruffled his hair.

“Geroff you pillock!” He fended Bodie off, both of them smiling. He winced when Bodie patted him on the back.

“Was bad in there, was it?” Bodie asked quickly turning serious. “Sorry I wasn’t here. Bloody Cowley!” Anger made the color rise in Bodie’s cheeks. “I told him you needed someone to watch your back. I told him that was my job, but he sent me off to drag Cooper in and..”

“S’all right, Bodie. ‘M fine. You couldn’t have known that soddin’ grass was going to show. Don’t blame yourself. I don’t.”

Ray smiled at him again. This time it was the big smile, the one that showed off the chipped tooth. The rare smile that, lately, he seemed to save only for Bodie. And Bodie knew just how special that smile was. Ray wasn’t one for talking about his feelings. Neither of them were. But that smile held all the words that Ray could never say and Bodie heard them all. Their eyes met. Time seemed to stop. They sat and stared at each other across the car seats. Then they started laughing.

“Couple of romantic berks, we are!” Ray said.

“Yeah,” Bodie ran his hands through Ray’s hair again, “Berks with really bad timing!” Bodie squeezed the hand lying on his thigh. “You look knackered mate. Go ahead, grab a kip.” And he had slept. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been out, or what had woken him, but when he came to he was alone in the Capri.

“Bodie?” There was no answer. He had a bad feeling about that. He and Bodie had been partners for a long time. There was a connection between them, communication without words. That link was telling him that Bodie was in danger. He got stiffly out of the car. He should take another pain killer, but he wanted all his wits about him if Bodie was in trouble. Unconsciously, his left hand went up to check the gun in its holster. He moved quickly and silently to the house. He should call for back up but he didn’t want to take the time. It felt like time was running out for Bodie. He needed to get to him as fast as possible. He crept up to a window at the back of the house and heard voices.

“We need to get rid of ‘im”, the voice was low, but filled with anger.

“He’s CI5. You don’t just kill those guys. He’s out. Let’s just pack up and leave. Leave him here for his mates to find.” That voice was younger and sounded almost frightened. Doyle chanced a look through the window. There were four men in the room. Bodie was stretched out on the floor, a small puddle of blood near the cheek pressed against the carpet.

“Can’t just leave him. He’s seen our faces, heard our names.” The first voice again. Ray looked on in horror as the man raised his gun and pointed it at the back of Bodie’s head.

Ray roared “No!” and jumped through the window, firing his gun as he went. He put the man out of action before he could shoot Bodie, but another gun sounded and Ray saw Bodie’s body jerk as the bullets struck. Blood began to pool on Bodie’s gray jacket. Ray spun, kicking the gun out of one man’s hand, while shooting another in the leg. Both went down. That left the one who had shot Bodie. Their eyes met. Whatever the gunman saw in Ray’s eyes caused him to hesitate and Ray took him down with a single shot in the chest. He knelt beside his fallen partner.

“Be alive,” he repeated over and over as he checked on Bodie’s condition.

He felt a pulse, weak but steady. He pulled off his shirt to pack the wounds and flipped on his R/T.

“Priority A-1,” he yelled into the unit and gave the address.

“Help is on the way, 4.5”, the dispatcher replied.

 

Ray woke to someone gently nudging his shoulder.

“Ray, c’mon mate, wake up.” Murphy’s voice.

Suddenly remembering where he was, and why, he jolted awake. “Is he alright? Has something happened? Is he…?”

Seeing the panic building in Ray's eyes, Murphy cut in quickly. “Bodie’s just come ‘round from surgery, Ray. He wants to see you.”

“He wants…He’s awake!? He’s alright?”

Murphy smiled at the man’s puzzled questions. “He’s ok, Ray. Two bullets, but nothing vital was hit. He’ll be fine in a few days. He wants to see you.”

The smile that spread across the battered face lit the waiting room. “He’s alright!” Ray grabbed Susan and spun her around. He gave her a big kiss on the cheek. “He’s alright!”

Susan laughed. “Easy, Ray. Go in and see him. He’s waiting.”

Ray sped down the corridor, almost taking out an elderly lady and her walker. He apologized over his shoulder as he hurried to his partner’s room. He opened the door slowly.

“Bodie?”

“I’m here, Ray.” Bodie’s voice was rough but Ray thought he’d never heard a more beautiful sound.

He walked to the side of the bed and collapsed to his knees. “Jesus, Bodie. I thought you were done. I thought….” He swallowed hard.

“S’alright, sunshine. I’m going to be fine. Just a few new scars for the collection. No need to get so worked up.” His voice was gentle as he tried to calm his distraught partner. He put a hand on the bowed shoulders. He felt Ray stiffen and Ray raised his head. Bodie was met by angry eyes.

“What the fuck did you think you were doin’, Bodie. Why’d the ‘ell did you go in there alone. You should ‘ave woken me. “ ‘ow could you ‘ave done that to me?!“

Bodie could tell how angry Ray was as his words lost their aitches. “I’m sorry Ray. Calm down. I didn’t think anything would happen. Just went for a look-see. You were looking so tired and finally had fallen asleep. I didn’t think it would…”

“No, you didn’t think. Damn you, Bodie, if you ‘ad bought it, what was I supposed to do? You’re my life. I fucking love you y’know. ‘ow was I to survive that?”

Silence fell thickly in the room as both men realized what Ray had said. Bodie pulled Ray up off his knees and made room for him to sit on the bed. Blue eyes looked into green.

“Do you mean that?” Bodie whispered. Ray just gaped at him. Bodie began to feel frightened by Ray’s non-response.

“Ray?”

Understanding filled Ray’s eyes and a single tear spilled over the broken cheek bone. “Yeah.” He took a deep breath and a small smile twitched at the corner of his mouth.

“Yeah, Bodie. I mean it. Love you. Don’t know why the hell it took something like this to make me say it. To be honest, I’ve felt this way for a long time. “ Ray leaned in and cupped Bodie’s face with both hands. He pressed a gentle kiss on the waiting lips. “Hope you can forgive my not being there for you, for not watching your back.”

Another tear slid down the cheek. Bodie kissed him back.

“Its my fault, Ray. Not yours. There’s nothing to forgive.” Bodie raised a crooked eyebrow. “But if feeling guilty makes you say that you love me, then I just might be angry for a while longer!” He pulled Ray into a tight hug and felt the man laugh. The anesthesia from the surgery was starting to wear off. His back felt stiff and sore. Right on queue the nurse came in with his meds. Doyle pulled out of the hug, but remained on the bed.

“These will make you sleep.” The nurse handed him the pills and gave a sidelong look at Ray. He took the hint and moved to the chair. Bodie watched as Ray absently played with the silver bracelet he’d worn since Bodie gave it to him for his last birthday.

“Go ahead and sleep, mate. I’ll be here when you wake. Nothing this side of hell will get me to leave.”

Bodie smiled as the pills kicked in and took him under. All was right with the world again. The aitches were back and Ray Doyle loved him.


End file.
